I was lying in my bed, writing, trying to think of what to write, what to really write. I’m one of those types that need, or must, write, or I will bust open and most likely have a heart attack, or an aneurism, or something.
And as usual, nothing. Nothing but chicken scratch B.S. And since I couldn’t write anything, “meaningful,” I decided I would just go to sleep.
So I put my pen down, as all I had managed to write about was death, taking life for granted, dying young and whatever, and I turned off my headlamp.
I was trying not to wake up my girlfriend because she had to work in 5 hours. I rolled over beside her. She was breathing slowly, deeply, and beautifully. I thought back to my writing and looked to her face, barely lit by the computer monitor from across the room. Flesh and blood. And emotions. And soul.
Sensitive flowing consciousness, searching for that connection, the air that will fill the void, the condition long enough for death to take you. Just long enough until the suffering ends. She is beautiful and she cares about me more than I know. I fell asleep, happy.
5 hours later, the alarm was sounding. Her alarm. It was time to rise and shine and go to work, for her. Not me. I was still quite sleepy. That’s what I mumbled, I think. She got dressed, kissed me goodbye, exited the room, came back in to kiss me again, exited the room, then she came back in to kiss me one more time, this one with tongue. Her goodbye that time was believable. I heard the garage door open and close, and I heard her start her car, and drive away.
I curled up, naked, in my down comforter, and fell into a deep, wonderful sleep.
Now it was my alarm, time to shine. The sun shown in at a blissful 8:30am. If she knew I slept in so late, I’d get the stink eye from her. But she would get over it. My first daily errand, as usual, was a trip to the coffee shop she was a barista at. She loved it when I would come in and sit at the bar. We would talk, and flirt, and write secret love notes to one another.
When I showed up, she wasn’t there, nor had her co-workers been able to get a hold of her.
I began to worry. “Where was she?”
I never heard from her again.